12:29 am - breathe in, breathe out. Earlier tonight we (marie, ryan, tj and i) were kind of watching beverly hills ninja, and something tugged at my heart strings. I just started to wonder, what is chris farley doing right now, is he in heaven or hell. Because i believe that they're there. So, I asked "what stops you from getting into heaven" and the conversation evolved and I don't think anyone really cared. Just "if it happens in happens", and they wanted to know why I wanted to know. I just want to see my mom again.
I'm such a bum. I want to be emotionally numb because I'm tired of feeling. i want to just live life, living. no happiness, no sadness, no ups, no downs. and if that's not really living, that's okay. I just want to breathe and survive.
10:34 pm Hopefully I'll make an update soonish about my glorious 3 day PA trip with awesome peoples and Christmas. Current Music: The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
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